Tuesday, December 8, 2009


1. Marriage, family and career are put at risk by two powerful forces of Nature -Infidelity and Greed. Usually these risks are carried out in particularly dumb fashions. Hence, they are usually baffling both to the perpetrators and to the observers. Yet, as baffling as they are, they are conquerable in the battle fields of the mind and no where else. If you can change the way you think, see things and speak about them (inwardly and outwardly), you will change your life and destiny. (Write me on how you can bring about this change on how you think and speak)

2. E-mails? Text messages? Voice mail? Anything digital these days is the modern equivalent of a billboard on Times Square. These are no go paths in modern communication that can bring down any leader and must be used with words that are clear to meaning and godly.

3. You must never do the dirty and more so with women and men for whom, it appears, discretion is not a key part of their value set. The other's value set examination is a test every leader must pass even if it is just the basic appearance test on value set. As a leader or role-model, you must never allow the basic lower self or instinct to override your value judgement of the other person's values.

4. You must realize that you will never be able to get away without scandal and shame if you do the dirty with women or men that have no proven key value system set that includes self-respect, self-decency and integrity over money. The lust for money just like the lust for power can turn any human being into an ugly beast. Men and women can say or do anything for self-enrichment and survival even in the Church - not to talk about in society and in politics.

5. No man or woman should ever fool himself or herself by thinking that they would never get caught in infidelity or greed. Only foolish men and women think they would never be caught with greed or infidelity. Both greed and infidelity are governed by the power of the same lower self or basic instinct and must be resisted with all the grace that God alone can give.

6. Every man or woman must realize that the brain system evolved millions of years ago to drive us to do some of the most important things we do in our lives especially in the realms love and sex. God, in the beginning of Creation said, "be fruitful and multiply" and the brain do find a way to carry out this command.

7. It is equally important to realize that the drive to sow as many seeds as possible, for some men, overrides the front-brain systems that calculate risk and benefit. It is equally important too to realize that once anyone indulges in greed acts or infidelity once, and does not get caught, that makes the risk look smaller and kills the rational fear of getting caught. This is an important lesson.

8. Another very big important lesson for leadership and for life is that once One has gotten used to acts of greed or infidelity, those brain parts get shut down and often get shut down for good. This shut down of the brain begets the internal bravado feeling or hidden celebration that they have been winning (not getting caught) for years. After a lot of winning, they figure they will keep winning. Don't forget how profound the sex drive is. Once in this frame of mind or mentality, sex drive like greed knows no limits and fears no risks.

9. It is not just biblical but the truth: People in lust after the opposite sex are irrational just like people pursuing greed. Both persons are governed by the same power of lust. They believe:

a) This woman or man is special and that they are special too.
b) They are different and smarter.
c) They have a love-trust relationship with the opposite sex.
d) They feel this sense of false security and invincibility.
e) They assume that they know better than any counsel from spouse or friends.
f) They assume that they are not in love/passion and therefore can think clearly.
g) They falsely assume that can think clearly in the cold light of day if they get exposed or caught in the very acts -- but by then, its too late.

10. Many flawed people have come to believe that the risk of getting nabbed either in infidelity or greed really isn't as large as one might think probably because they know other men and women who manage to keep their affairs out of the public eye. So they think that they are in the company of men and women who do get away with it. If this is your mentality, BE AWARE that you will ultimately become blind to the risks of infidelity and greed - thinking that it is never ever going to touch you and that the guy who got caught was just stupid. This is a great hidden DANGER once you open these DOORS.

CONCLUSION: As your Internet Pastor and Counselor, Hear me - I trust this above piece and the experiences of Mr. Tiger Wood would surely put the fear of discovery, if not God, into YOU not just for the next 10 days or so. It is my prayers that everyone reading this piece would never go back to business as usual. Seek counsel or contact our ministry if you are addicted to sex, greed, any deviant behavior or just want to talk to someone. God richly pour out His grace on You. Amen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is an interesting piece but I wonder if our people especially the igbo community would ever appreciate the validity and dare to be true in their marriage vows.